In any other time in Western history the “Man who watched a Rom-com too many” (for the sake of not having to say that again let’s call this man Poindexter or Mr. Dockers if you’d rather) would have thrived. He would have lived a secure and prosperous life free of any persecution for doing the “right thing” and what was asked of him. His daily life wouldn’t have been the equivalent of living in a giant casino, where at any point he could lose everything to which he had worked for.
Today, for men of the marrying variety, walking up to that altar and signing that business contract is the same thing as walking into any Casino in the nation; putting half your pension, salary, house and the kids all on Black and spinning.
It’s not like in the movies or T.V shows where everything is all sunshine, rainbows and orgasms. Reality is much different. Rom-Com’s never show the daily grind and boredom that go into living, sleeping, and having sex with the same person day in and day out — as far as science is concerned, monogamy might not even be considered “natural” human behavior since it is a man-made construct.
Mr. Dockers’ however today lives in a fantasy world through where years and years of social engineering and mass media have programmed him to continue to be the “beast of burden” all the while not taking into account that just in the last 35 years, divorce laws have changed dramatically; and they aren’t balanced at all.
On the contrary, today Poindexter enters an institution to which the scales of the law dramatically favour the opposite gender. Yes, today if Mr. Dockers’ does what is “right” and “what is supposed to happen” he gets screwed no matter what (not the good kind unfortunately). No good deed goes unpunished as they say.
Society typically paints a negative stereotype of men who hesitate, delay, or elect not to marry.
They are labelled as either:
A) Womanisers who are unable to participate in a long term relationship, or
B) Selfish, childish or irresponsible men who cannot take care of themselves or another person.
No other explanation is ever explored and rarely through our beloved movies or T.V shows for that matter. It’s because people don’t use their brains anymore in today’s society, they just take whatever CNN said (or any other co-opted media outlet) to be the gospel of truth.
It will Cause Mr. Dockers’ to probably Have to sell all of his Dockers.
In University/College, in professional sports, in politics, in the workplace; women have the equal educational and professional career opportunities as men. Contrary to the gospel of feminist propaganda, women do indeed get paid the same salary as men, given that they are prepared to work the same types of jobs as men, and work as many hours as the men do. Despite this reality, many women come into a marriage with very few assets, and often are saddled with substantial quantities of debt. In general, men are the ones who save and invest.
Don’t trust me? Tally the number of women of marrying age that you know who have an investment/stock portfolio or watch BNN (Business News Network). A significant number of twenty-something and thirty-something women spend all of their disposable income on luxury rental apartments, trendy restaurants, frequent exotic destinations, leased cars, spa/tanning treatments, and excessive amounts of clothing, purses, shoes and accessories. Yet paradoxically, in the media, men are the ones who are portrayed as irresponsible, immature spendthrifts. Life isn’t all about the “cheddar”, the “Benjamin’s” or that sweet sexy coin; but the majority of it is. Without money, you can’t do dick all.
Whoever said “Money can’t buy happiness” was obviously poor as shit and didn’t know what they were talking about.
When marriage enters the fray, double standards and financial imbalances leave dependable men like Mr. Dockers’ to pick up the slack. (And also fix the mess she may have made). For starters, men are required (yes, forced) to spend their hard earned savings (or take a loan) on a diamond ring. Women justify this relatively recent and blossoming ritual (it spawned not too long ago by the 1940’s brainwashing campaign launched by DeBeers) by insisting a man wants to buy her a diamond. That it makes a man proud to proclaim his love and affection this way. Granted, some men may be this way, but there are plenty who seek a lifelong partnership and commitment, yet have no interest in buying diamonds.
What choice does Poindexter have? None! To many young men like him, the ring/wedding is an unwelcome claymore mine in their journey towards adult financial stability. Some men are more concerned with realizing their dream of owning a home, and/or becoming financially stable enough to begin a family. Men worry about these matters, because, ultimately, it becomes their responsibility as well. This may not be Mr. Dockers’ future wife, they are not all like this; although, it’s not looking good for him in today’s society. Let’s Continue.
Immediately after buying a ring, Mr. Dockers’ may be rewarded with demands of financing all or part of a lavish wedding (Depending on the size of his bank account.) The costs of today’s weddings exceed that of a house down payment. (Or in certain parts of the country, the house itself) If Mr. Dockers’ enters a marriage having saved up a down payment for his dream home, it can suddenly be snatched from right from under him. If Poindexter decides to balk at spending his entire life savings (or going into debt for) a ring & wedding & exotic 5-star honeymoon he can be labelled a selfish cheapskate or not a “real man”. (Meanwhile, what exactly constitutes a “real woman”?) In fact, if a woman leaves a man for suggesting they try to keep their costs under control, she would have full support from her gaggle of cackling hens and Man-Gina’s around her. “She can do better than that”, “Clearly, he doesn’t love her” etc. This is a sign of good self-esteem, and that she won’t settle for anything less.
Yet, in the same breath of this sense of entitlement, women proudly proclaim how equal & independent they are. However, can you imagine if a man demanded equal treatment? For example, demanding the woman buy him the latest pick-up truck, and a 2 week Rhino hunt in Africa as a condition of marriage? This would be viewed as absurd, yet women do it every day. Marriage is a joint venture, correct? Could this be Poindexter’s future wife? It could be. Not all women are like this; however, the odds seem to be stacked against him. Let’s read on.
The injustices can go from terrible to shoddy when the rug-rats enter the picture. If Poindexter can afford to carry the entire financial burden, the woman can elect to stop working. (Regardless of how the man may feel about the decision) The day the woman stops working is the day all of her past financial luggage unambiguously gets shoved up Poindexter’s ass without lube. If the woman has racked up credit card debts, these are now his payments. If the woman has not bothered to pay off her student loans from her Women’s Studies Major, these also become the man’s responsibility. Sound fair? In the age of “equality” it seems as though a conspiracy is a foot against doing the “right” thing — getting married, being an “adult” and “progressing” in life. Since when did “progress” mean setting yourself up for financial ruin and having a 1 in 5 chance of ending back at financial square one, or even worse continuous poverty?
If Mr. Dockers’ even suggested that she return to work to pay off her own debts, he would be chastised as bad father, not a “real man” and endangering the welfare of his newborn. So, the accountable Poindexter now compensates for the mother’s freewheeling irresponsible past, and pays off all her debts. In yet another sick twist of irony, the husband may be paying off credit cards used to finance vacations and Christmas gifts shared with preceding boyfriends, etc. Buyers beware! This is the reward for today’s man who works hard, makes sacrifices, plans ahead, and invests wisely.
Again, this doesn’t always happen. But by getting married, Poindexter is certainly susceptible to being railroaded into this situation, because it is completely acceptable within today’s accepted gender roles. Are all women like this? No, but the divorce rates and statistics speak for themselves.
Divorce (A Warrant to Pillage)
50% of North American marriages end in divorce, and 70% of these divorces are initiated by women. That’s insane! That is like saying if 100 men decided to cross the street on a bright and sunny day, half of them would be run over and turned into human spaghetti; 70% of the vehicular manslaughter’s would be the doing of their wives and the remaining 30% would be suicidal cases. If Poindexter decides to go ahead with this riskiest of business investments he should consult an attorney before marrying, and understand all of the implications of divorce, because he may be participating in one whether he likes it or not.
Everyone thinks they will be the exception without realizing that this is impossible in the same way it is impossible for everyone to be famous or win the lottery at some point in their life.
Upon divorce, all assets accumulated during a marriage are subject to division. Even if the woman has not worked in years, and instead, has spent the last few years shopping and lunching from 8am-3pm, she is entitled to half of everything the man worked for during the course of the marriage. Is this fair? How many people would ever accept a job offer that stipulated that in the event of resignation, you would have to return 50% of every dime you were ever paid? No one in his or her right mind. Yet, Mr. Dockers’ is willingly to agree to a business contract to the exact same insanity when he signs that marriage agreement.
“Property accumulated prior to a marriage is exempt from a divorce.” Yes, in theory. However, real life dictates otherwise. If funds from an account are commingled, it can become marital property. If even a dime from an account is spent towards the marriage, it can be considered marital property. If Poindexter bought his child a Dora the Explorer back pack or a $1 Jawbreaker at the local 7/11 from his own account, a good lawyer will take 1/2 of it for his ex-wife when they divorce. If a woman moves into a home Mr. Dockers’ owned prior to the marriage, it is not safe from divorce. If she so much as paints a section of the living room wall, the home is now classified as marital property, and is subject to equal division. (Worse actually, the man can be ejected from the home) Is this fair? Is this the “equality” that was shrieked far and wide from the 1970’s?
Note: “equal division” is also somewhat a misnomer. Often, Mr. Dockers’ ex-wife can get upwards of 70% of assets, while he gets the majority of the debts! This, of course, is his reward for working so hard all these years. He can afford it; she can’t because she was not working.
Slavery Still Exits for all Men (Black, Asian, Hispanic, White etc.)
Anyone who says “Slavery is dead” clearly needs to get the fairy dust slapped out of their spongy brain and has not contemplated the predicament of many North American fathers. Webster’s defines slavery as “the state of being under the control of another person”. If Poindexters’ wife decides to stop working, he who has been left holding the financial bag will find his options limited. He may find himself stuck in a career he hates, or working for abusive exploitative management, working excessively long hours, working in jobs that are physically threatening, that have no growth potential, enduring prolonged commutes, etc. At this point, considering the corner he’s been painted into, Poindexter is often powerless to affect any change in his own life.
If She Stops Working She may Never Work Again
Every parent will be in agreement that staying home with a child is taxing (and often mind-numbing) labor. Many new fathers will concede that it is much easier to go to work than to stay at home with several children. However, the greatest imbalance in efforts and contributions to a marriage can manifest once the kids are now of school age. The house is now empty from 8am-3pm. The wife has 7 hours to herself, while the kids are at school, and the husband is at work. After a few years of hard work at home, many wives may feel entitled to “kick back.”(Stalking ex-boyfriends on Facebook, watching Dr. Phil, playing FarmVille etc.) The good husband however, has worked those same years, has done his share of the housework and is still working to support the family once the kids are in school. He rarely gets the same 7 hours at home to just “relax” and enjoy his life.
What motivation does the modern wife have to return to work? Very little. For several years now, Mr.Dockers’ salary has been enough to live on. (Otherwise, she would have been working) Unless tight finances (and living on borrowed time) dictate that she must return to work, Poindexter really has little say in this matter. The wife can hide behind many different excuses in order not to work, despite having little to do from 8am-3pm.
“I’m strapped with the housework”
It is easy to exaggerate the labours of daily housework— because you have to. How long does it take to throw clothes into the Maytag machine, and remove them later? Vacuuming can be done in 1 hour a week if you are a healthy individual with no disabilities. Grocery is another hour per week. A decent meal can be prepared in under an hour (hint: grab any easy recipe cook-book). Does all this add up to 7 hours a day? Perhaps a man needed a stay-at-home wife when it took hours to do the laundry along the riverside while war broke out, hours to churn some sweet creamy butter, hours to till the land, etc. The concept of a non-working stay at home wife is a vestige of simpler days and time when machines didn’t do everything for us. The simple fact is a man no longer needs this (or the liability it entails upon divorce). As Britney Spears once eloquently said “you gotta work B*tch”. Housework isn’t “work”, if it were you would be reimbursed for it. Again, not all women are like this; however, there are exceptions to every rule because we have just that, a rule.
Double Standards That Need to be Read over, Twice
If a married man like Poindexter cheats, he’s the scum of the earth and needs his dick chopped off like an umbilical cord (a selfish misogynist pig that has jeopardized the family unit). However, if Poindexter’s wife cheated on him she is somehow conveniently portrayed as the victim. “Poor thing” all her friends and Man-Gina’s would say— It’s for her empowerment, or to help her self-esteem. Even worse, her cheating could be spun as the fault of Mr. Dockers’, How?
He “doesn’t compliment her like her new man does”.
Or “he works too much”.
Yes, the man who is scrambling to pay the mortgage and cars she may have demanded is now measured as inattentive. The man who may be working 2 jobs to allow her to be home with her kids is now considered neglectful. The man that is killing himself to satisfy her needs is now “not doing enough”.
When a woman cheats, the first thing people ask is what he did (or didn’t do) to drive her into the arms of another man.
When a man cheats, no one ever asks the same question…
When a woman cheats, sometimes the reaction can be, “Oh, poor girl, I guess Mr. Dockers’ wasn’t delivering the good “D” in the bedroom”.
However, if a man cheats, no one ever stops to think….”Oh poor Poindexter, his wife was horrible in bed and just laid there like a star-fish every time.”
Either way, Poindexter gets f*cked hard. If Poindexter cheats on his wife, she gets half his shit.
If she cheats on him, she still gets half his shit.
Mr. Dockers’ is thus left shitless.
Prenuptial Pony Ride:
If Mr. Dockers’ insists on a prenup, he is selfish and unromantic. However, when is the last time a woman who demanded a prenup was called “unromantic”? On the contrary, if his soon to be wife requests a prenup, she is considered fiscally responsible and looking out for herself. (Note: If your fiancée refuses to sign a prenup, she has just shown her hand. She is expecting to financially gain from this marriage and/or divorce.)
What is astonishing is the duplicity of the response towards prenups. Women can conveniently assert that a man is unromantic if he suggests a prenup. After all, how can a man pollute true love with signing of legal paperwork? However, what is a marriage contract? Women do not seem to hesitate at signing this legal paperwork, which entitles her to at least half the money a man earns, and obligates him to support her if the event of a split. Why aren’t men allowed to note how unromantic this (a marriage contract) is? The distraction of bridal magazines, selection of dinner napkins, churches, wedding dresses, receptions, wedding showers, and honeymoons have clouded the legal reality of what the Poindexters of the world are getting themselves into.
“Stupid Man-Children & Irresponsible Xbox-men”:
Men are severely abused in our media, quite frankly. Just watch TV commercials/sitcoms and see how many reflect men as idiots. (If they had commercials like that about women, people would riot in the street and men would be jailed or killed in the name of “equality”) If it wasn’t for their wives they would be lost “animals”. Other commercials that make it appear that men act without thinking, impulsively and irrationally, and the wife is the brains of the family, which in reality is not always true. Even many women will agree, women often are the ones who act on emotions (backed by scientific study), and make judgment solely based on emotional attachments, rather than logic and reason.
Almost every “couples budgeting” article will portray the woman as the one who has to rein in the man’s childish spending (thanks socially engineered and pussyfied media, you write what you are told!). Does anyone besides myself have the actual balls to defend the every-man these days? Our media has now become a lapdog for those who wish to screw with the system and profit from hard working individuals through changing laws to exploit institutions that had once been used to build a stable society. Why do you think men like Poindexter live in such bat-shit crazy times where nothing seems to make sense anymore and the world has turned upside down?
It’s perfectly acceptable for Poindexter’s wife to demand he make a certain salary, to be deemed “marriage material”, and provide stability. Likewise, if Mr. Dockers’ demands the wife do the cooking/cleaning, he can now be labelled a sexist misogynist; If he asks her to carry her weight financially (just like he does), he can be criticized as an inadequate provider. Can you see how this makes any shred of decent f*ing sense? I can’t. I guess that means Poindexter is a sexist, misogynist pig who needs to be sent to a “sensitivity” training course because he is making too much sense?!
The Classics: Reasons Why Mr. Dockers’ wants Marriage ( the myths)
“I won’t die Alone”
Completely Wrong. Let’s cut out the bullshit for one second children. The simple fact is, that one spouse WILL die alone (Unless you both die simultaneously in a car accident on the way back from Bed Bath & Beyond). Your spouse may die 15 years before you. Or you may be on a hospital bed for your last years. Yes, you may get visitors, but they aren’t having the same thoughts as you are. You’re contemplating your mortality, while they’re wondering what sandwiches the hospital cafeteria offers. Ultimately, we all die alone. Married or not.
“I won’t grow old Alone and Lonely”
Not necessarily there Poindexter. A marriage can self-destruct at any time. Your partner may initiate divorce at age 25, 35, 45, 50, 55, 60, etc. MANY married people end up in the same position (alone) as if they had never wedded at all. (But they enter their sunset years broke, as a result of being stripped of half of their life’s assets, losing half their retirement/pension funds, and/or being assessed alimony payments) Also, experiencing final devastation from one divorce may preclude a man from ever marrying again. ie: He grows old alone (and poor).
Men are led to believe that not marrying implies a destiny of a solitary monk in a cave. However, life is not so black and white. Not marrying does not mean you can’t continue to date or have meaningful long-term relationships throughout your life. (Longer than your typical 5 year marriage, in fact) There are plenty of single people in all age brackets. In fact, a bad marriage can be the loneliest of institutions, because most of your emotional outlet and companionship is concentrated into one person. Furthermore, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Poindexter should be aware that marriage is a choice, and is not the only path life has to offer. An informed decision is less likely to be one that is later regretted.
Truth topples fallacy like dominoes.
“I will get regular and consistent sex”
Wrong again Poindexter. Studies show that 1 in 5 marriages are “sexless” . Talk to a few married couples that are honest about their relationship. One or both partners may stop wanting sex after kids. Also, it remains to be seen whether sex with 1 partner for 30 years is even a natural act, or just a man-made convention. Marriage is hardly a assurance of regular sex, as many people are led to believe.
“I’ll have someone to cook/clean for me like mommy did”
I don’t know what planet Mr.Dockers’ has been living on since the 1970’s but the average North American woman can’t cook— and if they can, its Stoffer’s Pot Pie for the night dear Poindexter. If anything more men know how to cook these days because they have too now (which is a good thing). Today’s woman is empowered by not performing the traditional housewife duties, regardless of whether she is working or not. If a Poindexter asks that his wife perform traditional household duties because she is not working, he can be labelled sexist or controlling, even if he is doing his “traditional role” of paying all the bills. Besides, this is a stupid reason to get married. If that’s what you want, then hire a maid like a real man. That is what money is for, making problems disappear.
“I have to be married in order to have Kids”
Last time I checked, dick+ vagina+ sperm= kids. So no, a marriage contract one does not need to fulfill such a feat of humanity. Her ovaries do not physically need a contract at town hall in order to be fertilized by your sperm there Poindexter.
Poindexter does need to be married in order to throw a extravagant 3 hour party, emotionally masturbate in front of friends & family, and share the same last name, however. Besides that, marriage does nothing but introduce lawyers and phoney, crooked religious figures into your life. (People that otherwise have nothing to do with your life or your relationship)
Men like Poindexter should stop and ask, “Why exactly am I getting married? What exactly does marriage mean to me in today’s world?”
It is hardly a lifelong commitment, because it can be reversed overnight.
Marriage was borne as a way for families to merge land/property, so maybe people should view it as just that. The rest of the hype is just bogus modern TV fantasy polluting the minds of today’s impressionable youth, and a way to keep the $70 billion-per-year wedding industry chugging along.
Perhaps the only criteria should really be “Am I excited to merge my finances with him/her?” Because, when all the fluff and hype are boiled away, that may be the only remaining reality. Don’t believe me? Spend a day in divorce courts ( I have and it’s very interesting/enlightening), and you’ll see exactly what is real and tangible about marriage.
You’ll also see women who signed the marriage contract under “romantic” pretences who are now practised laymen attorneys who can cite case law like it’s their day job. The rest are myths, lies, bold unsubstantiated promises, and maybes — For better or worse.
The national divorce rate for America is 50%. (It’s higher in some parts of the United States, like California) However, I ask you, consider of the number of people who are in a bad marriage, but elect to stay — Men who don’t want to lose 50%, women who know they can’t support themselves alone, etc. Next, think of how many more couples stay together just for the sake of the kids. Of these, “forced marriages, consider how many of these marriages involve infidelity. A shot in the dark, but I estimate the percentage of happy & monogamous marriages to be under 5%. Are these odds you would take in a business venture? Or even a raffle ticket at your local OHL or AHL hockey game? Most of the risk-averse population would not. Yet they seek this exception to the rule everyday at the altar.
Why go to Vegas when you can live in your very own Suburban casino 24/7 365?
Merry Christmas Mr. Dockers’, and Happy decision making. Remember, we live in an extremely privileged era of choice.
The choice is yours.